u n t i t l e d

My exams start tomorrow, will value all your prayers. Please!! Haha. Oh well, pretty soon they will be over. Soon I shall be in Salzburg walking the paths Julie Andrews and the crew walked when filming Sound of Music. I really can’t wait!!! It is going to be so amazing to be able to see in front of my eyes the views that I have adored so much since I was a little girl.

Then I shall be going to a theme park near London with friends, and then getting my results, and then flying back to Malaysia! Woohooooo! Soon, I shall be back home in Subang Jaya in the hot weather which I have learned to enjoy because it always reminds me that there is no place like home. Soon, I shall be cracking super duper lame jokes with my brother, and laughing so hard my tummy hurts about the idiotic things we do together. Soon, the three of us would be watching Japanese dramas together at night, and my brother would be singing Japanese songs and forcing me to listen to them and trying his hardest to convince me that they are nice when I have NO CLUE WHATSOEVER what they are singing about. Soon, I shall see my dad again, and my little brother. And I shall see my grandma and aunties and uncles in Seremban. And my lovely aunties in PJ. And my lovely lovely lovely friends, who I missssssss.

Ah, soon. Home. The thought fills me with hope and love.

Managed to webcam with my family last Saturday, it was RACHEL’S BIRTHDAY! Sorry Rach I didn’t get to wish you online. But you were on my mind the whole day, and you won’t be mad right?? hehehe.

Anyway, the BONUS about being able to webcam with my family was, my grandma, aunty, and baby cousins were there too!!! It just really felt as if I was right there in front of them! And my grandma is surprisingly very ‘tech savvy’. She just got on fine with talking to a screen and using a microphone. Most people would know that when I’m in Malaysia, we would go back to my mom’s hometown once a month. Well if you don’t, you know now. And I really really enjoy going back every single time. Its just a time away from ‘reality’ if you could put it that way. 1 and a half day without a computer, and filled with laughter with family members. QUALITY. So I really can’t wait to go back to Malaysia in just 2 months’ time and see them all again !! =) =) =)

Time has just flown by like no one’s business this year, and I’m not complaining…hehe can’t wait to see my tech savvy porpor!!

Not everyone can make you feel like you belong when you are in a crowd,

They say you can feel the most lonely when you are in a room full of people and that’s true.

But can you find the one who makes you feel like you are the only person who’s important when you’re in a room full of people?

Someone who dares to make the promise to never stand on that side of the crowd, the crowd which made you feel like you wanted to leave, just leave the room.

Someone who doesn’t tell you that the crowd is not important, and asks you not to shed tears for them, but feels the pain you are going through and lends a strong and comforting chest to lean on, not shedding tears with you but being strong because you aren’t.

The world can throw you back down to the ground just when you start to think that it is on your side, that you are part of the majority.

IF you meet someone who seems so accepted in that crowd in which you are despised, look on the Lord, and be CERTAIN that He knows your heart.

He knows you are who you are, not a mask in the masquerade. He knows your deepest THOUGHTS, PAIN, WANTS, and NEEDS.

The Lord will provide. WHEN YOU ARE DOWN, LOOK UP. And if He provides someone to share your joy and sorrow, thank Him. Thank Him with all your heart that He has provided someone who can finally see the goodness in you which the rest never saw, and who accepts the flaws in you which the rest never tried to accept.

Love Him. Love the Lord with all your heart, and with all your mind, and with all your soul. Love Him even when you feel like you can’t love anyone anymore. Love the Lord. He has made His promise, and He will fulfill it one day. We have a hope which none can sever. We have a hope which none else can give. Never doubt.

In a world where it’s just the two of us,

I wonder, is it really just the two of us?

I know the answer is no.

And I know, the right thing is the hardest thing to do.

Caught in the middle, I know there will come a day when I need to choose.

I know I have an addiction, but I won’t admit it.

I want you by me all the time. Just the two of us. No one else.

But I’m afraid of the hurt I would feel if one day you’re not by me anymore.

How would life go on? Things will never be the same again. Don’t you agree?

"When you finally find your perfect half, you can’t go back to being a half ever again because now you know what it’s like being whole"

I force myself to take things one at a time, face the problems as they come. But that’s what’s on the surface.

Inside, I’m afraid of losing you.

But you can’t understand how I feel. I don’t expect you to. But I want you to. I wish you could.

Would you do it for me, for us? But yet at the same time, you shouldn’t. It shouldn’t be for me. It’s for you. I want it because I love you. Honestly. Whole heartedly.

1 heart to love, without condition.

1 heart to care, in all aspects of a person’s life.

1 heart to give, without expecting anything in return but that you accept.

Oooo…so happy today!!! Went to the Frankfurt Market in the city centre after class. So many shops there! So much foooooood and nice fancy stuff to look at. Ate a waffle(the lady was so nice to give us heart-shaped ones..eheh), ate a foot-long German sausage, drank hot chocolate with rum(this was wonderful-it was really cold at that time), and had a few pieces of mushroom with potatoes.

Had a really really good time today. And it seems like no matter when I go to the city, I’ll bump into people I know!

Think I really need to go to bed early tonight. Well it’s already 12.10am anyway, wouldn’t be that early. Been so busy that I haven’t really kept in touch with everyone in Malaysia as I promised to..sorry!! Shall be sending some e-mails and writing some comments once I get some time to breathe =)

Woahhh..it’s been a busy busy busy busy busy week! Assignments haven’t stopped coming in since the 2nd week of term! Am looking forward to a real break. We break off on the 14th of December, and then my friend from Ireland is coming over for a visit on the 15th and 16th, and then I’m off to Spain with my housemates for 6 days!

I’ve never ever stayed up so late every single night like I have these past weeks. This week was the worst. Slept at 3am almost every night and 5.30am on Thursday night..@.@ haha. And it is 2.40am now, and I’m still working on my Maths assignment. Grrr..so this is what busy really is. Seriously, I can’t even sit down and fiddle around on Facebook for 10 minutes without feeling bad about not working on my assignments. I am relaxed in a way right now though, doing my work on the bed while listening to oldies..haha. Reminds me too much of home though, and I was feeling homesick this evening after my friends kept mentioning how they were going home to their families soon (they’re locals). They don’t realise how much more fortunate they are, and they can sometimes be a little insensitive to how others who can’t go home as often as they do feel. Sigh, nevertheless, I’ll survive.   

Anyway, I’m staying up late tonight so that I can have a more relaxing day tomorrow. Will be going to the German market in the city centre and then probably a movie and dinner out. Weee!!

OH AND HOW COULD I ALMOST FORGET. It snowed today!!!!! Wooohoooo…hahaha. It was getting really really cold during the week, like -4 degrees on Wednesday night and around 0 degrees during the day. And then it just snowed this evening. Nobody expected it, because the snow usually only comes in January/February and it isn’t even December yet! It was a pleasant surprise for me though, and my housemates and I were in the backyard taking pictures. Shall let all of you have a look at the ‘very interesting’ picture my housemates decided to pose for soon. Regrettably I was the photographer.

Wow, seems like time is flying by..almost a month since I came back from Malaysia! Can’t believe it really. Life is getting better. Starting to know my new friends better, and trying my best to juggle everything in my schedule properly. Still really excited about going to Cambridge for the day on Saturday!!

Had an early birthday celebration with some friends yesterday. We were having supper at Aunty Sheila’s house after the gospel meeting, and suddenly she brought out the cake. I was so so so surprised! And they all sang Happy Birthday so loudly and even say "hip hip hooray" at the end. Hahahaha. It was really nice and sweet.

That’s all for today I think. Take care everyone!! Oh and Happy Birthday to Jonathan!!

So I’ve finally got internet at home. BUT I can’t seem to connect to the wireless connection when I’m in my room, so I have to come downstairs and sit in the living room to online. Well, I take it as a good thing. I won’t be stuck on the computer the whole day in the living room, so I’ll start studying!

Can’t wait for next Saturday!!!

Still no internet at home, but getting used to it. The engineer should be coming on Friday to install everything. Amazingly I don’t feel so bored even without my internet anymore. And I’ve actually started STUDYING because I didn’t have anything else to distract me(other than the 4 monkeys in my house). So the long delay isn’t such a bad thing after all.

Life has been great for the past three weeks since I’ve been back. Fell sick, had some problems with the university, some communication problems with some friends, but oh well, that’s life. Many OTHER things happened too, and all in all, life is great. My house is really great too. The guys are really clean and quite tidy, and everyone in the house is cheerful and caring and nice. At least going home isn’t a dread anymore, unlike last year when I lived in university accomodation. Now, the house really feels like a home.

Will be going to Cambridge next Saturday. Went to register for it yesterday. It was raining the whole day yesterday, and we were stuck waiting for the bus for 40 minutes with my pants soaking wet. Really looking forward to the trip. And the best part is, we get to choose where we want to go and what we want to do. They’re going to give us a map of Cambridge and we decide where to go on our own.

But before that, there’s a MASOC meeting today at 4pm where we’ll meet all the newbies,most of whom I’ve already met because we’re all engineering students anyway..hahaha. We’ll all be dominating the whole meeting. And there’s WMF(West Midlands Fellowship) this Friday at Andy and Janelle’s. Busy busy. Oooo and the best of all, Guy Fawke’s day celebration on the 1st of November!!! Unfortunately it falls on the same day as the prayer meeting that week, so I’m not sure if I will be able to go see the fireworks at The Vale.

I’m hungry. Gonna go eat some cookies. Take care everyone!!!

Not even a week since I arrived back in Birmingham and I fall sick !! Had a really sore throat 2 days ago,which thankfully is getting better, after drinking some warm water with honey. Now I’ve got a running nose which is still running. =( Feeling a little feverish now. Hope it doesn’t develop. But don’t worry, I’ll take care of myself.

Got up early for class today, but the lecturer didn’t turn up. Ish ish ish. It’s a nice day anyway. Will be babysitting for my friends tomorrow. A 3-year old and a 1-year old. Sounds like it’s going to be really difficult.

I still feel really homesick. Keep trying to find things I can do to stop myself from thinking about home..OH YA, it’s Tat Lee’s birthday today! 5th of October. Happy birthday Tat Lee, I’ve wished you when I got up anyway.