u n t i t l e d

ever had those moments when u feel like kicking yourself so hard that it bleeds and won’t stop and you have to go to hospital for stitches and then u find out that the wound got infected and u feel like kicking yourself all over again but you can’t because it’s too infected and…ok u get the idea

I feel like that now.I did something that I think I will regret for a very very long time.That sounds kinda..weird.If you guys are thinking about..ahem..no YOU ARE WRONG!It was more what I DIDNT DO that makes me feel like kicking myself right now.It was all planned,all I had to do was follow the plan,But i didn’t!!!ARGHHHHHHH!!!!why why why why why???

good news is..i bumped into my ex-Math teacher just now.I MISS HER SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO MUCH!!!!just talking to her made me feel like crying!!yeah it was only natural,considering the Math teacher I got THIS year.She said we all(i think she meant tatlee,chengyee,chanhong and gang,and i) look so matured now compared to the kids in SAM this year.well yeah I was happy,haha only thing was that I was the same age as the "kids".muahahaha..oh and she said chanhong tried to frighten her the other day. o.O kids. haha

today has been emotion-full.so tired.have to start working on the potato car project.i wonder when is the next time i can have a go at the above-mentioned matter.probably 3 years from now.bleah..haha

Went for driving practise in Ulu Langat today.Luckily there was another girl with me.Otherwise I’ll be stuck there alone for 4 hours with nothing to do but to round the course over and over again.Everything was fine,but boring.driving test tomorrow..kinda nervous.

My ex-schoolmate asked me to meet up at Ming Tien for a fren’s birthday.I was kinda reluctant at first.We haven’t met for AGES,and i didn’t have time to go get a birthday present for my fren.And there was an argument between us last time right after SPM.It was terrible.So it was only natural for me to feel scared.

Anyway i decided to go.and it turned out SO GREAT!!!We forgot about the misunderstandings between us and we chatted and stuff,and we were best frens once again just like how we used to be!We were holding hands,telling each other secrets,and fed each other(ok this sounds weird,but no we are not ahems,we always did this last time).I realised how much i miss the times we spent together in school.I thought the both of us had changed,but it turned out that nothing has changed at all.Our care and love for each other,just like it used to be.Feel so sad that we let one whole year pass without making an effort to mend things.I’m so glad that i have so so many friends that care for me and who are there for me when i need them.Only now did i realise how blind i’ve been to all these blessings.

When we were about to leave,I gave her a hug,and at that moment,I felt like crying.She was my bestest friend in the whole world last time.No one else understood me more than her.And now we’re gonna be bestest frens again.

I just watched the news and am feeling very disturbed with what I saw.There’s an obese cat in China.It’s waist is 23 inches,can you believe it?Goodness gracious!There are people starving all over the world everyday and these people can afford to have obese PETS???!!!I really wonder what’s becoming of this world.

The above mentioned cat can’t even jump onto it’s owner’s bed(come to think of it,he lets it sleep on his bed too??).I wonder if it feels jealous of other cats that are able to leap tall walls in a single bound with all gracefulness and it can’t even jump unto a bed.I would be if I were it.But I’m not it.So there’s nothing much that can be done.And guess what.This high class cat doesn’t eat cat food or anything else other than meat.YES meat.What kinda cat eats MEAT??haih..

I love animals.But this is..haih

I was at a playground today,and I saw a wonderful picture there.I saw a father there,with his 2 children.He played with them,carrying them across the monkey bars,helping them up when they fell,laughing with them when they made silly actions.It was truly a beautiful beautiful picture.An ideal family portrait.

Fathers like that are hard to find nowadays.Not that they don’t want to spend quality time with their children,but sometimes they’re just too busy and stressed out trying to earn money,money,and more money.They worry about the milk powder,then the kindergarten fees,then the money to buy books,tuition fees,college fees,uni fees..and a lot more of other fees.Personally,I don’t want too much money.Yes of course I would want to make sure that my children would have enough and are at least in a little bit of luxury.But perhaps the greatest luxury is to have a father who would be there when you needed him most and a mother who is tender and loving.

I would want my children to have a father like the man I met today.This is my ideal family portrait.

Alright,I just got back from uni and I’m very very tired,haven’t had enough sleep in ages,but I have one very important thing that I just can’t bear not telling people about!ok it’s like this.

I was on my way home, in the LRT, when this guy came and sat next to me.It was fine with me,he didn’t look like he was gonna do anything to me.And I didn’t feel like doing anything to him..so we were fine.So as i was sitting there waiting to reach Asia Jaya,this guy took out this cool and funky-looking mp3 player.It looked like a Zen Neeon to me,but it was black and with bright shining words that scrolled across the screen..and when I saw it,I was like..(ok this is getting boring but,well it was how i felt).ok so I WAS LIKE OK!!!seriously i was impressed.

so we both sat there listening to our music,I was listening to Ever The Same(my fav song now)..and suddenly i saw him scratching his nose at the corner of my eye.that was fine..my nose gets itchy sometimes too.but it seemed like he was scratching for a pretty long time.i waited and waited for him to stop,but he didn’t.and as time went by,i took a closer look and MY OH MY..he wasn’t scratching..it looked more like he was picking his nose.I WAS LIKE…..AHHHHH!!SAVE MEEEEEE…..he seemed to have a problem getting out whatever he wanted out of his nose.and I sat there waiting VERY IMPATIENTLY for the announcement "Next station,Asia Jaya."Thank goodness he finally managed to dig whatever he wanted to..but then i started wondering what’s he gonna do with it.

and guess what.he ‘accidentally’ wiped his hand on the railing next to him and pretended nothing happened.and then he started picking his nose with his other hand,AND THEN HE TOUCHED HIS HIP AND FUNKY MP3 PLAYER!!how sad to have an owner with such terrible hygiene.As i stared in utter disgust,I realised that there was a guy opposite Mr. Gold who was also watching in amazement.at least i didnt show any facial expressions..I’m good at that(bcos there are many not so normal people in this world and i can’t afford to offer them all facial expressions)..but that guy’s face was like…"WHAT IN THE WORLD IS HE TRYING TO DO??!!!".and then there was a moment when our eyes met and i could feel the sympathy flowing through the void space between us and i knew it.i had to get out of there.

asia jaya came at long long last,and boy was i fast to get out of that seat.i wonder how long i would’ve stayed if I was travelling to KL.i doubt it’d be much longer.

ok kids..that’s the end of our Hygiene Class today.

Conclusion:there are some things that should be done in private.Otherwise,people would write about you in their blogs.

*do post ur comments..i really wanna know who reads my blog*

i managed to do the materials test i was so worried about..well it was only natural for me to worry!!the test was from chapter 1 till 7 and i only studied chapter 3 till 5.yes..i should have worried more now that i come to think of it.anyway i managed to do it.not that i’m gonna score in it(i dun think so)..but i know i won’t fail badly in it.

after class,tatlee,chengyee,kayum and i went to the cafeteria to test out potatoes.i have become quite a professional at slicing potatoes..now that we have been dealing with them for more than a month now.

then it started raining cats and dogs..and Rachel bumped into us while i was slicing a potato.if tatlee had not warned me,i might have sliced my finger off when she put her hand on my shoulder suddenly.then it started raining godzillas and donkeys..pardon me,but i was terrified ok.and just when i thought the situation couldn’t get any worse(i couldn’t go home early bcos of the godzillas)..the electricity got cut off.and i was like…NOT OK!!!!i was terrified!!i personally have this fear of the dark..and not many ppl actually know about it until..today.when the lights went off..i started closing my eyes and hugging my bag as tightly as i could.i can’t even remember what i told Rachel..but all of a sudden..I SAW LIGHT.and then i was like…OK!!and i realised..it was rachel’s handphone..she was so sweet!!purposely taking it out to give me some light and to calm me down..^^

well i guess the cat’s out of the bag now.and not only the 4 ppl there knew about it..my good good fren chantatlee had to write a testimonial for me in frenster to declare to the whole world that I Kimberly Low Ai Ling am afraid of the dark.anyway i approved it..u guys can go read it.made me laugh.and made me realise what a fool i made of myself today.argh..

considering all these..u must all be wondering why i am so happy.actually,i am wondering too.

Today is Valentine’s Day.Everyone everywhere was talking about it the whole day.The radio DJs were talking in rhymes with romantic background music,SAM students were selling roses/choc/marshmallows/fruits dipped in choc all around college,couples were arguing along the corridors about who holds the rose throughout the day b4 the girl gets to take it home,and the lonely and single but not available people like me wandered around observing all these.

I got marshmallows from my good good fren anyway..haha that’s good enough for me.enough to make my day a less miserable one.yes,Valentine’s day this year is much better than the last.i celebrated with frens who i love more than i could ever love anyone else.i think this is the best Valentine’s day i’ve ever had so far.we shall see how it goes next year.

Not so significant stuff:

I almost fainted

I had to walk home in the rain

I finished manual drafting this time

I almost fell asleep in manual drafting class

I get hungry when i smell the potatoes during our experiments

I had McFlurry today(a deal with Karen and Qi-Guang)

I have been having a headache the whole day

I am going to go to bed now without doing my materials tutorial bcos i am still having a headache.

why do i have to face this kinda stuff?why?i’m not that strong a person…but this is reli testing my strength to hold on.why at this time?????????i don’t wanna hold it in any longer.why do i have to keep it in everytime i feel like crying?i can’t cry when i’m at home,my mom would be worried.i can’t cry in uni,my frens would be freaked out.i can’t tell anyone,i was told to keep it a secret.i can’t tell any of them that i’m sad,bcos they think that i am strong enough to face all of this.they don’t even have the slightest idea what i feel deep inside.they actually think i’m HAPPY.can u believe it??but it’s not their fault.it’s mine.bcos i’m the one who doesn’t wanna tell them my true feelings.but how can i??what can i do but to just tell them i’m ok.i dun even know why they even bother asking me if i’m ok.if i’m reli ok..then good.i’ll tell them i’m ok and i’ll be telling the truth.but i’m not ok!but i can’t go telling them that right??SO WHATS THE POINT OF ASKING???

just when i thought that i could cope with everything,another problem comes along.WHY?????!!!!!i don’t even know who to talk to.no one to turn to anymore.except for God..He’s the only One who will never ever ever leave me.i’m just so tired..i hope they leave me alone..hahaha(see..i have recovered)..

Bangun pagi

Gosok gigi

can’t remember the rest.let me go try find the lyrics first.

Cant find..fine then.

Anyway,slept at 3am last night,woke up at 9 sth,and started working on my Fluids report.

Simimo and I plan to go to the shopping centre near our houses to get sth for each other later in the evening.Hopefully i can get her sth nice..and that i will get sth nice too..hihi.

as the days go by and that day comes nearer,my hopes are getting slimmer.i dun wanna have hope anymore.it’s very difficult to pretend.i dun wanna pretend any longer!i wanna ask the questions that have been bothering me these few weeks.but i just can’t!but not asking is jus gonna make me continue to suffer this agony of pretending that nothing has happened and accept the fact(i dunno if this is a fact) that it’s never gonna happen.and this is something i dun wanna accept.i really really dun wanna accept it.what am i supposed to do now???????

i feel so tired.a fren once told me that i’m a person who needs a lot of love.i dun think i can agree more.its reli true.it doesnt have be from a boyfriend.i dun reli agree with the term ‘boyfriend’.how do u define boyfriend?all i want is someone special who will be there for me when i need someone,who will go out of his way sometimes just for me,who actually cares for me.i think thats all.i don’t wanna be in a relationship either!!that’s not what i want.i jus want him to be this person.