u n t i t l e d

It’s 8.50 am right now,and I’m all ready to take the LRT to Paramount where the aunty uncle will pick me and off we go to Cameron!!Oh before that,go to Sungai Buloh to pick up 2 ‘guai lou’ first.Pai seh pai seh.Hope I have the guts to talk to them..haha otherwise it’ll be a BORINGGGG journey there.

I met the 4 speakers yesterday, and I can’t wait to hear them again.They’re so knowledgeable..

Sometimes I get pretty tired of blogging,because I found out that quite many of my friends read my blog regularly.And whenever I voice out my opinion about certain issues,some would totally disagree and that can kind of ruin the friendship.But I’ve thought about it.This is MY blog.I write what I want to write.I don’t have to explain myself to anyone just because they voluntarily read my blog and disagreed with me.They should know that I never ever write anything to intentionally hurt anyone’s feelings.Giving my honest opinion in my OWN blog is my right.If they disagree,it’s perfectly alright!I never expected the whole world to agree with me.Don’t get so worked up about some issues where we all have a say as to whether we agree or not.I might agree,you might disagree,but that doesn’t mean our friendship would have to suffer.

So from now on,I’ll say what I want to say,and anyone who disagrees can either just leave a comment or forget what I said.Why let me ruin your day and why come ruin mine right?FRIENDS FOREVER

Adios~

Clearly,times have changed.And one very clear problem that we are thrown with is sexuality.I’ve tried my best not to mention anything about this as it is indeed very controversial.However,I just can’t keep quiet anymore when one of my friends gets hurt because of this!

We ALL know that gay relationships are morally wrong.It is against nature.And I agree with this.I personally do not support gay relationships.However I choose not to discriminate against gays(and lesbians) and instead hope that one day,they might be able to realise that the other sex,is (the) better sex.

Ever since that movie "Brokeback Mountain" came out,almost everyone has been hyper-sensitive to gays.If you’re a guy and you accidentally touched another guy’s hand,you’re gay.If 2 guys hang out together everyday,they’re gay.The point is,we are all too sensitive to this issue.However,what happens when what you thought was a joke or just an innocent guess,was true?Slowly I realise that we’re probably so sensitive because this is a REAL issue.It’s not only something which we laugh about, but something that really and truly affects our society.

A friend of mine recently found out that the guy who she likes is a gay.I can only imagine how hurt she must have felt.Homosexuality can be something I just ignored,but not when people get hurt because of it.So far,all I’ve heard when anyone speaks about gay relationships are disappointment,shock,fear, and sadness.I’ve never heard of a gay relationship which turns out well with no one being hurt.Yeah sure,E.J got married to his gay partner and it was such a hooha in London,but what’s gonna happen next?Let’s wait and see if there is a divorce.I’m not saying there will be one.So nobody come and shoot me now,k.I’m not an evil person.

To all gays reading this,I hope that you would truly reconsider your sexuality.One of the main objectives in life is to reproduce.But you can’t reproduce..being gay.Try imagining yourself in 10 years’ time.Would you be happy in 10 years’ time,if you continue being gay?Anyway,all the best to all of you,gays and people hurt by gays.

Today was possibly THE most embarassing day of my life.Or maybe there would be even worse embarassment cases for me in the future,but I’m sure I’ve never been more embarassed before.

Wanted to practise Alibre Design at home,mana tahu my computer is just tooooo slow for the program,so didn’t manage to practise.And the test is tomorrow!And Electrical Circuits is sooooooooooooooooooooo terrible!Well,not really la.Materials was worse,but this is the worst subject for this semester.I’ve never felt so lost in class before.Or maybe I’ve become blurrer after the holidays.

Anyways,can’t wait for next week,when I’ll be in Cameron Highlands for my church Conference.Cool air,great friends,and time off from Electrical Circuits to focus more on God =)

A friend told me,the only thing that separates dreams from reality is action.But this isn’t always true.Sometimes no matter how hard you try to achieve a certain dream,it will never come true.Because not everything is up to you.Not everything will go according to what you wish for.I believe that without hope,there is no meaning in life.But what happens when you know there IS no hope?Just let go of your dreams?Or hold on stubbornly and feel hurt?I really don’t know..

Kids from broken families go through a lot of pain and emotional torture which other people never ever have to go through in their lives.Sometimes I wonder why I have to go through these.I feel so jealous whenever I see or hear about my friends and their happy and complete families.I’ve never felt that before.Maybe the only time I ever get the chance to feel that is when my dad comes and takes us out to dinner on Sundays,but most of the time I don’t feel anything.It’s been so long since my parents got divorced,and yet I can’t be spared from the hurt and pain.It’s just so unfair that the faults of the people from the last generation causes the younger generation to suffer.This is more than I can take.Torn between my mom and dad,being accused,being scolded,being hit,being blamed,I just can’t take anymore!Why do i have to suffer like this????Why can’t I live a normal and happy life like my friends??None of them understand me,they don’t know that everything I do is in the hopes of having a normal life.If I can’t have a complete family now,the least I could ask for is for peace and that the both of them could be healthy and I can just pretend to be normal.Even this I cannot get.Why izzit so unfair???Why do I have to suffer when all I did was for us?Why can’t they understand?there’s only so much a 17-year-old can take.sure there are people in the world who are suffering worse than kids from broken families,but the pain in our hearts are not less than theirs.sometimes the pain is so much that i wish i could just fall asleep and never wake up.my friend comforted me by saying "you will be fine no matter what".yes of course i will stop crying after a few days,but these things leave scars that can never be healed.let 5 years pass,or 10 years, or until i’m 80,i’ll still remember these and still feel the pain as if it happened just yesterday.now that all of you know about me and my family,i don’t want any pity.i don’t want anyone to pity me.all i hope and pray for is that no one else has to go through this like how i did.i don’t want any of my friends to feel this,and i hope that no other innocent children might have to go through this.

I’m sure all of you know what MALAS means right?Well for those who are that bad in BM,it means lazy.But you know what?The people who make up the Malaysian Linguistic Association are anything BUT lazy.In fact,they actually look at every single detail of social life and relate them to language,to ensure that we Malaysians are utterly embarassed able to have the best command of English in the whole of South East Asia and be proud of it.

The next victim of MALAS is the famous loved-by-all Harry Potter books.I never read any of the 6 books so I have no comment on the contents.Anyway, the MALAS president has his eye on the final Harry Potter book and wants it banned in Malaysia.However,this is indeed very intriguing as the book has yet to be published and "does not even have a confirmed title yet".

"There is nothing wrong with asking for something to be banned before we can fully ascertain its contents.This read-before-you-judge concept is very Eurocentric and not suited to our tropical climate"

Am I so mentally challenged that I don’t get the meaning of what he’s trying to say at all or is he the mentally challenged one? o.O And this is the reason why:

"As a patriotic Malaysian,it is my duty to speak up.My sister,…,told me that ‘pot’ is a slang for marijuana.Therefore I suspect that Harry’s surname of Potter indicates that he is a drug addict. Potter means he specialises in pot,just as a ‘fighter’ is someone who fights.You’d need to be a linguist to figure this out.

…Only a drug addict would imagine he is a wizard who can fly and disappear and perform magical tricks.These things cannot happen in reality as they defy the law of Physics, which I studied at secondary school."

I wonder what happened to "fiction writing".How caring of the president of MALAS to look out for all Malaysians that we would not fall into this evil scheme of getting us all addicted with ‘ganja’. So you see,the association’s objection is not only linguistic this time around, but in the interest of national security.

WE LOVE MALAS!!

So many decisions to be made.Sometimes I wonder why I can stay so calm eventhough there’s a huge ’storm’ going on around me.I think most of you who know me well enough have noticed that about me.I’m seldom nervous before exams.I used to be normal though.Nervousness before exams and getting all stressed up when I had to make huge decisions.But I remember very very clearly the first time I was calm.It was during my Lisan BM in Form 3.I was supposed to be nervous like all my friends,but I wasn’t at all.And I was even singing to myself while waiting for my turn.And since then,I was seldom nervous.

Right now,we have to book our air tickets,decide on our accomodation,buy our clothings,electrical appliances,household stuff,etc etc.I have to write 2 articles for The Engineering Newsletter(T.E.N),get 4 managers for The Society of Engineering and Technology(SET),finish up Alibre Design,find out whether I have to home-stay or if I need a guardian in UK,work on our project for the International Conference,start writing the research paper, while constantly revising for Dynamics,Thermodynamics,and Computing.

And I feel sooooo calm.Hahaha..

Oooo…I appeared on the front page for the Education Section in Oriental Daily newspaper.Go see go see.It was yesterday,Tuesday.(And BodyGlove is not part of my name)

I’m so alone in the Web

Just yesterday morning, my friends and I started discussing about going over to UK this September instead of next September.And I decided last night.I will be going this year.

All this while I’ve been set on going for 2+2,not bothering to find out about going over to UK,not even worrying about anything except to get good results for the discount given.And suddenly,I have to find out EVERYTHING about studying there,living there,and now even the minutiaest detail which I have taken for granted for 17(almost 18) years of my life has to be taken into account and brought to the UK with me.sighs..

And the worst thing about this is that I have to leave my family and friends one year earlier than expected.I would have to leave my bestest friend,my best friends,my family,my home,my piano,my books.All the most precious things to my heart.All the memories,so hard to forget,but what if I do forget?I won’t get to see my brother and cousin sister grow up,I won’t get to see my grandma every month anymore,and what if anything happens to her when I’m over there?

I can’t bear to see all the tears that will be shed for me.If there is one thing that can make me cry,it is seeing others crying.Even listening to my friend cry on the phone for something that has nothing to do with me can make me cry.And nothing can be worse than seeing someone cry for me.I don’t even know how to tell my friends and family about this.I don’t wanna cry,I wanna be strong,but it is impossible!!!I don’t want them to see me cry,it would only make them even sadder.

Every decision in life is important.But this is by far the most important decision I have ever made for I might not be coming back..

I was just lazing around when I decided to pick up a newspaper to read.Finding nothing interesting,I was about to put it back down when this caught my eye:"Linguists call for ‘Da Vinci Code’ ban".

I was told that The Da Vinci Code was very controversial,and as a Christian,I decided I would not read that book,only to find that it’s in the movies too!!!ahhhh!!!!Anyway,when I saw the word LINGUISTS,I was tempted to see what else is wrong with that movie.And this is what it says:

" For too long we have sat by and allowed language to be polluted but we have decided that enough’s enough. The Da Vinci Code should be banned because we don’t want to encourage youngsters to use ‘da’ as a lazy shorthand for ‘the’.

AHHHH!!!!!!!!!!noooooooooo…….this can’t be happening. I continued reading:

"..the association might reconsider its protests if the filmmakers changed its name to The The Vinci Code.But even this is a problem because having two ‘thes’ in a row look ugly.So the film should be called The Vinci Code".

Oh the ignorance in these people!!May God bless them.I can’t decide whether they’re acting stupid or playing dumb.Wanna ban then ban la,all the better!Then people won’t be influenced by the ‘teachings’ or ‘discoveries’ they ‘discovered’ in The The Vinci Code.

Oh and for your information,the LINGUISTS are from The Malaysian Linguistic Association(MALAS).

I got my results for First Semester last Friday.It was way way way too far from what I expected,but not in a bad way.I seriously expected to get really bad results,and was expecting to fail 2 subjects at least.But guess what?I was far from failing any.And I got an average score which is Second Class Upper,almost First Class.

This post is not for me to brag,in fact there is nothing for me to brag about,but it is to show that with perseverance and prayers,I was able to do it.The week before the exams was crucial,(especially since I am the last-minute-study kind), but I didn’t have time to study because of the Computing project and assignment,reports,and worrying myself to death about *something/someone*.I seriously barely touched Materials,but I did moderately well in it.

I know that this is not luck,nor am I intelligent.I know that God blessed me very much indeed.And I thank Him for His love for me.