u n t i t l e d

When I say "I’m a Christian",
I’m not shouting I’m clean livin’.
I’m whispering that I was lost,
now I’m found and forgiven.

When I say "I’m a Christian",
I don’t speak of this with pride.
I’m confessing that I stumble
and need Christ to be my guide.

When I say "I’m a Christian",
I’m not trying to be strong.
I’m professing that I’m weak
and need His strength to carry on.

When I say "I’m a Christian",
I’m not bragging of success.
I’m admitting I have failed
and need God to clean my mess.

When I say "I’m a Christian",
I’m not claiming to be perfect.
My flaws are far too visible,
but God believes I’m worth it.

When I say "I’m a Christian",
I still feel the sting of His pain.
I have my share of heartaches
so I call upon His name.

When I say "I’m a Christian",
I’m not holier than thou.
I’m just a simple sinner

who received God’s good grace, somehow.

You ask why I follow this Jesus?
Why I love Him the way I do?
When the world’s turned away from His teachings
And the people who serve Him are few.

It’s not the rewards I’m after
Or gifts that I hope to receive
It’s the Presence that calls for commitment
It’s the Spirit I trust and believe.

The Lord doesn’t shelter His faithful
Or spare them all suffering and pain,
Like everyone else I have burdens,
And walk through my share of rain.

Yet He gives me a plan and a purpose,
And that joy only Christians have known,
I never know what comes tomorrow,
But I do know I’m never alone.

It’s the love always there when you need it;
It’s the words that redeem and inspire,
It’s the longing to ever be with Him
That burns in my heart like a fire.

So you ask why I love my Lord Jesus?
Well, friend, that’s so easy to see,
But the one thing that fills me with wonder is
Why Jesus loves someone like me

My handphone inbox has been almost full for some time now. Everytime I receive a message, the phone reminds me that the inbox is almost full and that I should delete some smses. There were about 120 smses in there I think. So, I went through them one by one just now, like I’ve done many times before, and there were those which I have kept for a long long time and which I see everytime I go through the messages and never had the heart to delete them. However, I think now is the time to delete those messages. It used to hurt very very much when I read those messages from that person whom I used to love so much. I still do love him, really, just in a totally different way now. I need to make space for new messages.

And then there were those messages from best friend(s) which were totally meaningless, but I just kept them because they are from my best friend(s). And reading them just reminds me how much they mean to me, and I to them. It’s great when there’s just this meaningless sms from a best friend which asks you something like "Hey, where are you now? Wait for me ya, give me one hour". Or "I’m wearing orange and grey later, we wear same same ok?". Or even that one which says "How was the test yesterday ah? Eh eh, still got cough or not oh?". It’s great because I get to think back to that day where I had to wait for an hour (!!!) and that night where we planned to wear the same colour for the first time ever. And that day where he stayed online with me the whole day(seriously) before my exams just to listen to my terrible singing(to release stress) and coughing and telling me not to worry and that I would be able to do well in my exam. Which I really did, thanks to his encouragement. These were times which are totally forgettable, but which I don’t want to forget.

And then there were those which I received in the last month before coming here to UK. And they hurt the most. People telling me what a good friend/jie jie/girl I am, how much they’re gonna miss me, how much tears they’re gonna shed at the airport. It felt great reading them, even though it hurts. These were things one would never appreciate about themselves(unless they’re people who are so full of themselves) and which would only be really meaningful when it comes from a friend. I never knew how much I meant to so many of these friends of mine. To tell you the truth, I never thought I would even KNOW so many people! But I do, and I’m glad that they think I’m a good friend, even though I have not tried my best. And now, I can say that I AM a more caring person and I hope to be a REALLY good friend to each and every one of my friends. =)

Though I’m far away from all my closest friends, I know that this distance between us has drawn us closer together than we have ever been before. I suppose it is true, the saying that absence makes the heart grow fonder. And right now I can’t wait to go home and see everyone once again. Really really really can’t wait! I can’t say when I’m going back to Malaysia, sorry people..but I’m planning to give all those people I love the most a HUGE surprise. Hehehe.

Take care everyone. And to ’somebody’, now is my turn to tell you all the best for your exams and I am here supporting you all the time, just like how you have given me support in times when I need it the most.

We often don’t realise that our lecturers are human too, just like us. I know I often see them as separate from us students. Totally from a different world. But after chatting on MSN with some of my ex-lecturers from SAM, I realised that they’re just normal people like us who tell jokes and surfs the internet and does things that we all do. And the younger ones use MSN too!

I always used to be so amazed whenever I saw any teachers or lecturers outside college. There was once I saw a lecturer wearing jeans and holding his girlfriend’s(now his wife) hand at a pasar malam. I was so shocked. Haha, but I guess I shouldn’t have been, because even lecturers need to buy some fruits and vegetables right?

And then today I asked the lecturer I was chatting with whether he still remembers me. And he said "Kimberly..Low Ai Ling?". How wonderful it felt to know that he still remembers who I am. And he even uses internet Malaysian English. And he remembered SOMEONE’S presentation where *she* said "I know this picture s**ks". HAHAHAHAHA..even I didn’t remember that one. He reminded me. And he told me that he does facial almost everyday!! Haha that one is a bit not so "everyone-does-it" ..but still,ALL LECTURERS ARE HUMAN BEINGS! Their fierce and unfriendly nature in class is just a front, it’s part of their job, but they’re mostly nice inside. Well, I wouldn’t say ALL of them have a nice nature. Some lecturers, especially those with the initials TMK, don’t really have a nice nature inside. Or probably he/SHE does but never shows it to ANYONE.

I miss my teachers and lecturers in Malaysia so much!!! =( I definitely have to visit them when I get back. Now is the time.